Male Perspective

Mohnish Moorjani

I have been a spectator to street sexual harassment for as long as I can remember. In my teens I was urged by male friends to 'check out' every girl, call it peer pressure but somewhere something felt very wrong. The girls being gawked at from top to bottom obviously didn't enjoy the unwanted attention. I could sense that, being a timidly shy person. I always said a "no" and walked straight ahead only to be told I was only being 'stylish' and that it were my unique way of wooing them which I found most absurd. I guess that's what most erotically charged teens feel, shamelessly staring is in fact the transition from boy to man. As I read news of 'eve teasing' my anger grew stronger I guess I've always hated bullies. Indians have always adopted hypocrisy when dealing with societal issues.Female infanticide, dowry demands, honor killings to name a few. No matter how progressive we love to portray ourselves in front of the whole white world the fact is we lack basic respect for women.
 

An incident that comes to mind was in college. My girlfriend was groped at 5.30 in the morning while on her way to a temple (Yup not even 'God' came to her rescue) Rather than empathizing I forbid her from traveling alone. I guess my mind was trained to believe I was protecting her but deep down I was only boosting a typical insecure Indian male chauvinist. Well that was 10 years ago but till date I witness groups of ugly strange men staring and chuckling at the sight of any girl they deem fit to be part of their sick world. Honking, singing distasteful songs, sexual innuendos, gestures, calling names, rating are way too common to distance myself from and unlike others put up a pretence of 'chalta hai' 'hota hai'. Eve teasing, as we like to call it in this part of the world is a crime, most rampant yet most ignored by the witnesses and the victims. From pan spitting autowallahs trying to get a sneak peek from their rear view mirror to 50 year olds gawking shamelessly at school girls its out there. How do you not see it?
 
I think sexist movies/vulgar item #s have only added to the confusion, repeatedly portraying women as a lesser being only there to please and entertain while our 'HERO' fights to protect human civilization. Some of our Bollywood airheads take pride in being labelled as the #1 item girl (Item means commodity) The portrayal of white women wearing the skimpiest of clothing whilst they push n pull the 'hero' who is too cool and takes liberties to feel em up is what you see in every film and a sure shot way of pulling in the audiences. How dense are we?
 
Daughters accompanied by parents, mothers carrying young infants, young girls walking in the company of males no one is spared. I dunno is it some kinda obsessive compulsive disorder? The most annoying sight for me personally is young men holding hands (never can tell if they're lovers or frightened) checking out every woman as if it were ET doing squats.
 
Not just the uneducated laborers at construction sites , its men from affluent backgrounds indulging in the same maybe in a what they like to believe, sophisticated flirting but its still harassment. A friend nudges me once to check out a girl in a skirt. And he goes "you see her? I bet she'd sleep with anyone!
 
As a man nothing pisses me off more than the sight of ugly men shamelessly staring at my partner/friends. Such behavior is at its peak during festivals when heavy vehicles laden with erotically charged puberty stricken boys from slums go to great lengths to jeopardize their lives and that of others. Politicians sponsor for these ruffians’ commute, liquor not to mention the filthy money. Being India stupidity & cheap thrills get the better of common sense. Indian festivals like Janmashtami, Holi or Ganesh Visarjan too have only drawbacks especially if you’re a woman. Every corner one finds skinny ugly uncouth frustrated ‘Govindas’ waiting to pounce on you. Lewd gestures, sexual innuendos all in broad daylight and NO ACTION is ever taken against these attention seeking morons. Cops go soft on them in the spirit of revelry.
 
Tips for Boys
 

1. Insecure boys bully and intimidate with the belief they're superior to women. Its simply a way to assert fake masculinity. Any dignified man with even a little self respect will treat ALL women with respect irrespective of what she wears, personal choices, where she's from or how she looks.
2. You look like complete douche bags when you stare, comment, rate etc
3. Irrespective to what your friends think always question your own double standards and attitudes. Avoid laughing at sexist jokes simply to humor them reminding yourself you might offend someone. Do not repeat what your fathers & uncles did. Believe me there is no place in the Men's community for perverts.Your attitude towards strangers reflects your upbringing at home. Besides you wouldn't want your mother or your sister to go through the same thing now would you?
4. Speak up when you witness/experience bullying. Neutrality helps the oppressor not the victim.
5. Do away with cliches such as 'boys will be boys' You have no bloody right to interrupt another's personal space. PERIOD!
6. Being stared at by scary strange men can be quite an experience. No woman likes being 'appreciated' by random losers. 

Ladies stop fearing and compromising on life. Head high, chin up, walk as if you own the damn street!!!

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